


the dreams in which i'm dying

by J_chan



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Canon, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 07:20:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13712703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_chan/pseuds/J_chan
Summary: The first time he had tried to kill himself, he was 19.





	the dreams in which i'm dying

The first time he had tried to kill himself, he was 19.

 

He sat on the floor of the bathroom the and Phichit shared in their appartment, breathing heavily, and slowly dragged the blade down the skin of his arm, pressing harder and going deeper into the skin than he ever had before.

The blood flowed to the palm of Yuuri’s hand in small rivulets and, fascinated, he tipped his hand and watched the red liquid drip off his fingertips.

It had hurt at first, like it always did; the sharp sting of the blade piercing the skin. But now it was just with a distant satisfaction that Yuuri watched more of that dark red flow out of his arm.

He was already feeling dizzy. The room slowly becoming darker; dimmer. He had no idea how long he’d been sitting there.

He absently wondered what would happen to him when he died. Whether he’d have a funeral… who would find him… probably Phichit… Yuuri felt bad about that… he didn’t want Phichit to see him like this…

 

Suddenly, the door of their apartment slammed open. “Yuuri!” Phichit called. “Where are you? Ciao Ciao said you left early today, and I was worried so I came to check on you…”

Yuuri saw Phichit’s feet under the slit in the door. _No_ , he thought, _not now… I’m so close…_

He couldn’t move his mouth enough to tell Phichit that he was fine; to leave him alone and go do something fun like go to a party – something he hasn’t been doing recently because he knows Yuuri doesn’t like it; another reason this was a good idea.

 

Phichit’s voice came quietly from behind the door. “Yuuri, I know it’s been tough recently, but I promise you you’ll get through this – and be right here with you every step of the way. You can’t just lock yourself away, c’mon, I’ll help you cheer up – we can even watch _The King and the Skater_!”

Yuuri felt a pang of guilt even as he sunk to the floor; too weak to hold himself up.

“Yuuri?!” Phichit sounded panicked now. “Are you alright?! I heard a noise.” When there was no response, he tried the door, only to find it locked. “Yuuri, what’s happening? Yuuri?”

He shook the door a few times, then started banging against it with his shoulder. “I’m coming in! Yuuri – get back!”

 

The door burst open and the last thing Yuuri saw as he finally passed out was the startled face of his best friend as the world faded to black.

 


End file.
